Do You Feel Alone While Grieving Your Pet’s Passing?
That’s how I felt when Koda, my little “soul dog,” died suddenly and traumatically in the middle of the night. He was only six.
I’d lost pets before, and I’d grieved them. But something about Koda’s passing leveled me. I cried for weeks, hiding under my desk. I took his little box of ashes around the house with me as I moved from room to room, similar to the way he’d followed me daily, head high and tail wagging.
Of course, I didn’t tell anyone. I was afraid of being called crazy. And I really didn’t want to hear the heartless phrase, “It’s just a dog.”
(If you’ve ever had a special animal connection, a “soul pet,” or a beloved creature companion, you might relate.)
The Gold in Unexpected Social Sympathy
I think I grieved harder and longer because there was no one to talk to about this distinct type of enduring grief. Then one day I met up with long-time friends at a work conference. I opened up about my loss and found incredible empathy.
Nan was still struggling with the death of her kitty, two years after the fact. Chris revealed her guilt and grief over the loss of a cat that had been gone for six years.
We found community in sharing our grief and stole away from the conference multiple times to talk. The act of being seen and heard in a struggle I thought would be brushed off as “extreme” was profoundly healing.
That’s because finding support while in grief is a gift. I wish that for everyone.
Emotional Silencing Still Happens
But you may also have experienced the flipside of pet loss, where your grief is brushed off. Maybe you were told to “just get over it,” or you were laughed at.
I still miss my little pup deeply, but in the years since his passing I’ve learned who to reach out to and who to steer clear of when I need to feel my feelings.
It’s not unlike any other human experience, right? As we go about our lives, we gradually learn where to turn for help through our challenges.
Pet Death is Largely Ignored in Our Society
When it comes to pet loss, there’s still a massive void of understanding, awareness, and resources. Too many people live with unaddressed grief and unresolved guilt about pet loss.
Grief and guilt are not only uncomfortable to live with; they also have long-term negative consequences. That includes depression, anxiety, social-withdrawal, and intense self-blame.
What does this look like? It might be
exhaustion and the inability to sleep through the night.
physical discomfort like body aches and headaches or muscle pain and chest tightness.
backing out of fun evenings with friends or family, or difficulty doing basic things at home or work.
In my early days of loss, I’d search frantically online for any kind of guidance. I found very little beyond thoughtful blog posts from caring individuals and the occasional call-for-help phone number that addressed grief in general.
It’s simply not enough.
All Types of Pet Loss Grief are Welcomed Here
That’s why I decided to build a newsletter and create a support community to help those suffering with grief from pet loss. You’re in a welcoming space if you are facing
deep, sometimes unrecognized pet loss grief,
the overwhelming “silence” that comes after the loss of an animal from your home,
guilt and self-blame,
long-term grief,
anticipatory grief because the end is approaching,
difficulty finding support and community,
questions about how to memorialize your pet or continue the bond, and
a desire to learn different healing strategies to move you through your sadness.
My newsletter also shares advice on how to comfort someone you know as they cope with the loss of their pet and extends to helping both children and other pets deal with a loss.
The community membership takes this to the next level, with live group coaching calls and daily check-ins.
This Is Your Safe Haven for Walking Through Pet Grief
My hope is that through these articles and within the community, you’ll find borrowed strength and loads of love to guide your transition through this stage of life.
Of course, I’m not saying there’s a simple formula to “just get over it.” But there is a way to sit with your grief alongside those who can relate to the pain. Think of it as a sanctuary of understanding.
And I can promise you that all the posts and stories you read here on this site and on any of our properties are written by real, feeling humans and never robots.
About Healing From Pet Loss Founder Mindy McHorse
Mindy McHorse is a writer, coach, and entrepreneur.
She’s best known for her role as Executive Editor of the long-time running Barefoot Writer magazine, a motivational guide and resource for 200,000+ up-and-coming writers published by AWAI.
Mindy has interviewed over 500 writers throughout her tenure as editor, including best-selling authors, million-dollar marketers, and a Tony-award winning producer.
She was also the original Reality Blogger for Digital Copywriter, chronicling her 12-month journey to becoming a six-figure copywriter.
When not writing about pets and serving the Healing From Pet Loss Community, Mindy works as a women’s business coach and ghostwriter, helping aspiring women entrepreneurs gain the confidence to build their businesses, the clarity to grow their email newsletters, and the credibility to publish a business book in their areas of expertise.
Mindy’s constant companions throughout every writing project are Owie and Posa, with snores from Posa providing enough white noise to block out every other possible distraction.
