When Your Valentine Had Four Paws
If Valentine’s Day used to mean heart-shaped treats on the floor, slobbery kisses, or a purring body curled against your chest, I see you, and I’m so sorry for your loss. 💗
Holidays have a way of ripping our rawest feelings wide open. That’s especially true on Valentine’s Day with all the love-love talk and countless posts about being showered with affection.
None of that lands well if you’re feeling empty space despite the pink and red hearts splashed on every storefront.
And if that empty space is because your pet used to be your Valentine, it’s that much harder. After all, pets are the very best kinds of Valentines with their unfiltered love and zero-expectation devotion.
It doesn’t matter if you said goodbye just days ago or the ache is still heavy years after you parted. Grief is surprising like that, surfacing in sharp little flashes and dull, heavy aches long after the pain of death.
But grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t care about holidays. It just ebbs and flows, and sentimental dates can stir those waves back up.
So for today, how would it be to reframe your thinking? Valentine’s Day feels like torture when your heart is broken. But at its core, it’s a day about love and appreciation.
And when you think about it, grief stems from love. Where there is deep grief, there is deep love. Queen Elizabeth II said it best: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”
Gentle Ways to Honor Your Pet on Valentine’s Day
One way to navigate deep grief is to throw yourself into the act of remembrance through a tribute.
Consider doing the following to honor your pet:
Pen a Valentine. Whether you handwrite it on paper or type it on your phone, creating a simple love note that tells them how much you miss them and how much they meant to you is a beautiful way to remember your pet.
Fire and gratitude. Light a candle and say your pet’s name, then share something you’re grateful for related to your time with them. Giving voice and light to their beautiful memory helps bring back that connection you shared.
Phone a friend. If you can reach out to someone who knew your pet, or someone who’s also walked or is walking the pain of losing their own pet, then do it. Having your grief seen and heard by someone who gets it will be comforting as you work through the day.
If you end up crying in the car and laughing at a meme five minutes later, that’s okay. If you make plans so you have a distraction or you decide to stay in and sob, that’s okay, too.
There’s no normal way to grieve, but grieving in lots of different ways is normal.
So, however you spend Valentine’s Day, know there are plenty of grieving pet lovers working their way through this day as well. Whether your Valentine had fur, feathers, or scales, know that we all carry a mix of love and sadness on this day. 💗
P.S. If you feel up to it, I’d be honored if you share your pet’s name and something you loved about them.