Welcome to Healing From Pet Loss

A community where your grief is seen, heard, and understood

I’d lost pets before, but the sudden death of my little “soul dog” leveled me.

Yet on top of the profound pain of losing my daily companion, my tail-wagging shadow who always perked up when he saw me and snuggled closer when I was out of sorts…

On top of the jaw-clenching agony that came from thinking I could have prevented his little heart from stopping at 2 AM that dark summer night…

On top of the heavy sorrow and the tears and the loneliness…

Was the confusion of not knowing where to turn.

You see, I didn’t understand why I was so wrecked. I didn’t have a clue how to make the pain go away.

I tried googling it.

Why am I so sad from losing my pet? What do I do to get past the pain of dog loss?

And nothing came up. The search results returned countless articles about “real” loss, like the death of a spouse or sibling or parent or child.

But a dog?

Zilch.

So I curled up in my pup’s empty dog bed over and over again, crying in secret for months.

The Risks of Hidden Grief

I’ve since learned that a major problem with pet loss is how disenfranchised it is in our society.

“You lost your dog? Just get another one.”

“Cat gone missing? They’re free down at the shelter.”

And I get it. Some people aren’t animal people. They don’t understand. That’s totally fine.

But for those who have pets and love their animal companions, whose daily routines and identity are interlaced with the lives of their pets…

For them, pet grief is deep and long-lasting.

So to be told to get over it, that it was “just” a dog or a cat or a horse or a bird, well…

It hurts.

And because it’s not something people talk about a lot, those who are hurting just stuff down their grief. Stuffing down grief is a bad idea. Stuffing down grief leads to bigger problems: sleepless nights, anxiety, high-blood pressure, depression…

It’s a pretty long list.

Now for a lot of people, a social media post that shares their loss goes a long way. “We had to say goodbye to Daisy today. She was the best. I’ll miss her forever.”

That’s a powerful way to publicly express your grief. The hearts and caring emojis that usually follow, along with the response posts from connections who commiserate—that all counts.

It’s important. It’s beautiful.

But when pet grief continues inside and lasts indefinitely, when the guilt sits heavy on your heart for months or years…

That’s when you need a community to turn to. And that’s why I’m building a community for people navigating pet loss.

That’s what made the difference when it came to working through my own deep pet grief.

Mind you, I wasn’t without support at any point. When our little dog died so suddenly, my husband was broken, too. My parents were sad for us. Our kids cried with us. Friends gave us empathy and kindness.

And it all helped.

But for me, the pain persisted a long time after I thought I should have moved on.

You Are Not Alone

It wasn’t till I opened up to long-time colleagues while away at a conference that I discovered I wasn’t an anomaly. They asked how I’d been over the last year; I shared openly about my pet loss struggles.

Then the most amazing thing happened. They shared openly, too. For Chris, it was a cat that had been gone for years, but the guilt still plagued her. Nan’s story was similar.

Just knowing their pet grief lingered helped me feel less alone.

And that made all the difference.

I’ve since learned a lot about pet grief, about how it goes unrecognized and unaccommodated in our world. I’ve learned about people who are closer to their pets than other humans, so the loss of said pet upends their world.

I’ve also learned about rituals and tributes, about what to say and not say when someone loses a pet. I’ve studied the challenges around looming pet death, about guilt and self-blame, about long-term pet grief and identity after pet loss.

My goal is to help others working through pet loss. I want to share what I know about coping with pet grief, about pet tributes and the power of memorials, and about grief self-care.

Most of all, I want to share the healing power of a community where you can feel seen, heard, and understood as you navigate this life transition.

I’m So Glad You’re Here 💗

And so I welcome you to the Healing From Pet Loss Community. It’s a gentle space where we navigate the depth of pet grief together.

This newsletter offers compassionate support, practical coping steps, and heartfelt stories to help honor your beloved companions and find comfort during your journey of loss.

This community is meant to offer hope and healing, ritual and reflection, and support in the face of unrecognized pain.

Thank you for being here, thank you for subscribing, and thank you for giving a voice to something too many people feel shame for speaking out about.