The challenge to 'make every moment count' can turn an already difficult stretch of time into a pressure cooker where you feel like you have to be everything. Here's how to be present with ease.
Ooooh thank you for this!!! I lost my first Pom to kidney failure... I still have a lot of guilt for her death... I've had people tell "I kept her alive for my selfish reasons because I couldn't let go..." I had never lost a pet like this before, my cats had died suddenly, so I never watched an animal dying before... I took my cues from Pumpkin... if she was waking up each day, and interacting then why should I pull the plug on her?? I realize now she was in pain longer than she should have, and I ache to think of her in pain... Her last day was a Sunday, I had resolved to take her to the vets because she didn't look good, wasn't being herself. The hospital was busy, so we had to wait, then wait some more after they took some blood. The waiting ended up being the best gift... I just held her in my arms in that quiet room at the vet hospital... I could feel her breathing, and her heart beat under my hands... and she could feel me breathing, and hear my heart beating... we stayed like this for what felt like hours... then the vet came in to say her kidney numbers looked awful, and recommended she stay overnight for the specialist to look at her the next morning. I asked if the vet thought she was dying, but didn't really know. I kissed Pumpkin sweetly on each cheek on her forehead before handing her to the vet tech... something in my heart just knew it might be for the last time. Sure enough I got a call four hours later to say she was having a heart attack, did I want them to continue... of course I said no, there wasn't anything more we could do for her. I had the chance to come see her body, and say goodbye.... holding her one last time felt soooo different from just a few hours before. I have her cremans on my mantle.... I still ache 11 years after for sweet Pumpkin, but I'm learning to let go of the guilt, and accept that I did the best I knew how... and I know she understood that. ❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔😭😭😭😭😭
Monica. What you just described, sitting with her in that quiet room, feeling her heartbeat under your hands while she felt yours, that's one of the most beautiful things I've read here. What you did for her wasn't selfish. You were watching her, present with her, taking your cues from a dog who was still waking up and still interacting with you. That's not someone clinging out of fear, that's someone paying close attention out of love. You couldn't have known what you only understand now, looking back. Eleven years on and you still ache, that just tells me how deep that bond went. Thank you for trusting us with her story.
Don, I’m so sorry. 🤍 There are no perfect words for this part of the journey, but I hope you can be gentle with yourself in the days ahead. You don’t have to make every moment count you simply being there, in whatever way you can, is enough. Sending you and your beloved pet so much love as you navigate this goodbye.
Ooooh thank you for this!!! I lost my first Pom to kidney failure... I still have a lot of guilt for her death... I've had people tell "I kept her alive for my selfish reasons because I couldn't let go..." I had never lost a pet like this before, my cats had died suddenly, so I never watched an animal dying before... I took my cues from Pumpkin... if she was waking up each day, and interacting then why should I pull the plug on her?? I realize now she was in pain longer than she should have, and I ache to think of her in pain... Her last day was a Sunday, I had resolved to take her to the vets because she didn't look good, wasn't being herself. The hospital was busy, so we had to wait, then wait some more after they took some blood. The waiting ended up being the best gift... I just held her in my arms in that quiet room at the vet hospital... I could feel her breathing, and her heart beat under my hands... and she could feel me breathing, and hear my heart beating... we stayed like this for what felt like hours... then the vet came in to say her kidney numbers looked awful, and recommended she stay overnight for the specialist to look at her the next morning. I asked if the vet thought she was dying, but didn't really know. I kissed Pumpkin sweetly on each cheek on her forehead before handing her to the vet tech... something in my heart just knew it might be for the last time. Sure enough I got a call four hours later to say she was having a heart attack, did I want them to continue... of course I said no, there wasn't anything more we could do for her. I had the chance to come see her body, and say goodbye.... holding her one last time felt soooo different from just a few hours before. I have her cremans on my mantle.... I still ache 11 years after for sweet Pumpkin, but I'm learning to let go of the guilt, and accept that I did the best I knew how... and I know she understood that. ❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️💔😭😭😭😭😭
Monica. What you just described, sitting with her in that quiet room, feeling her heartbeat under your hands while she felt yours, that's one of the most beautiful things I've read here. What you did for her wasn't selfish. You were watching her, present with her, taking your cues from a dog who was still waking up and still interacting with you. That's not someone clinging out of fear, that's someone paying close attention out of love. You couldn't have known what you only understand now, looking back. Eleven years on and you still ache, that just tells me how deep that bond went. Thank you for trusting us with her story.
Don, I’m so sorry. 🤍 There are no perfect words for this part of the journey, but I hope you can be gentle with yourself in the days ahead. You don’t have to make every moment count you simply being there, in whatever way you can, is enough. Sending you and your beloved pet so much love as you navigate this goodbye.