Losing a pet can trigger deep feelings of guilt and remorse. Here’s why so much self-blame surfaces during grief, and how to transform that pain into understanding and forgiveness.
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about the MRSA. I can completely understand the guilt. I relate to the anniversary date feeling harder… since my sweet soul dog passed around the fourth of July, it took years before fireworks and summer barbecues around that time didn’t trigger all the sadness. My deepest condolences to you. 💗
Powerful reminder on the difernce between guilt and regret. The reframing around helplessness makes so much sense, since grief after losing a pet often feels like we should have had more control than we actually did. When I lost my own pet last year, I kept replaying every decision, but realizing those choices came from love rather than negligence helpd a lot.
I’m so glad this post helped you — that means a lot! I hear you on feeling like we should have all the control, since we care for them in every other aspect. It’s such an ongoing journey of acceptance. I’m sorry for your recent loss. 💗
Oh, I really hear you! It’s been years for me and I still feel waves of guilt. I was first really helped by friends who shared that they’d spent years in guilt as well after their fur-babies passed. It’s an ongoing learning journey for me, made better when I stop and really take time to remember and pay tribute and also just allow the sadness. 💗
Thank you for this article, Mindy. It's such an important reminder for all of us. We do our best in every moment, based on the knowledge, resources, and emotions we have at that time. It's so easy to look back and say, "I should have done this," because we can see everything from a new perspective - a perspective we didn't have when our pet was ill or dying. I believe that the experience of losing a beloved pet is a gift from them, even when it is painful. It's their way of saying, "It's time to love yourself as much as you loved me."
Wow, thank you for this, Chris. It’s such a thoughtful reply and a perspective I never really thought about… I’ll have to sit with that a bit! I know I’m not alone in waves of guilt coming and going even after years have passed since a loss, but the idea of it as a gift is so powerful. Grateful you shared that.
A couple of pet mediums I've followed say that our pets are more in tune with us than we are with ourselves. They also say our pets come to us, knowing the lessons we need to learn and how they can help us, even if it's through their death! Pretty amazing, yet something about it rings true.
2/24 was the ninth anniversary of my corgi/daschund Daphne’s ‘crossing the Rainbow Bridge.’
It affects me most on that date.
She was much better off but I know she contracted MRSA from my hospital visit in 2016. The guilt remains
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about the MRSA. I can completely understand the guilt. I relate to the anniversary date feeling harder… since my sweet soul dog passed around the fourth of July, it took years before fireworks and summer barbecues around that time didn’t trigger all the sadness. My deepest condolences to you. 💗
My deepest condolences to you. ❤️ Grief accentuated with guilt is a soul-crushing destruction no one should experience
Powerful reminder on the difernce between guilt and regret. The reframing around helplessness makes so much sense, since grief after losing a pet often feels like we should have had more control than we actually did. When I lost my own pet last year, I kept replaying every decision, but realizing those choices came from love rather than negligence helpd a lot.
I’m so glad this post helped you — that means a lot! I hear you on feeling like we should have all the control, since we care for them in every other aspect. It’s such an ongoing journey of acceptance. I’m sorry for your recent loss. 💗
thank you for this. i need every advice on how to drop the guilt. it’s been more than 6 months and still i can’t let go :(
Oh, I really hear you! It’s been years for me and I still feel waves of guilt. I was first really helped by friends who shared that they’d spent years in guilt as well after their fur-babies passed. It’s an ongoing learning journey for me, made better when I stop and really take time to remember and pay tribute and also just allow the sadness. 💗
Thank you for this article, Mindy. It's such an important reminder for all of us. We do our best in every moment, based on the knowledge, resources, and emotions we have at that time. It's so easy to look back and say, "I should have done this," because we can see everything from a new perspective - a perspective we didn't have when our pet was ill or dying. I believe that the experience of losing a beloved pet is a gift from them, even when it is painful. It's their way of saying, "It's time to love yourself as much as you loved me."
Wow, thank you for this, Chris. It’s such a thoughtful reply and a perspective I never really thought about… I’ll have to sit with that a bit! I know I’m not alone in waves of guilt coming and going even after years have passed since a loss, but the idea of it as a gift is so powerful. Grateful you shared that.
A couple of pet mediums I've followed say that our pets are more in tune with us than we are with ourselves. They also say our pets come to us, knowing the lessons we need to learn and how they can help us, even if it's through their death! Pretty amazing, yet something about it rings true.
Wow. I absolutely believe it, even if I don’t understand it.