7 Ways to Help Someone Grieving a Pet (And Not Say the Wrong Thing)

When someone you know is grieving the loss of a pet, your compassion and presence can be a lifeline. Here’s how to gently support them through the loss, one act of kindness at a time.

There’s a tender kind of heartbreak that’s invisible from the outside, yet millions are walking through it: the loss of a beloved animal companion.

This kind of anguish shatters the heart in quiet, unseen ways. Because to the person mourning, that pet was family.

But if you can help someone walk through that pain, it’s one of the most compassionate gifts you can give.

So today, I’d like to share seven heartfelt, practical ways to offer genuine comfort and support.

1. Acknowledge the Depth of Their Loss

Validating someone’s experience is the most important first step you can take. Because when a pet dies, it’s not just the death of the animal that’s mourned. It’s also the loss of a daily companion who, in many cases, helped shape someone’s identity and daily routine.

Saying something as simple as “I know how much they meant to you” not only honors the relationship between the owner and the pet but also helps a person feel seen in their grief.

On the flip side, avoid comments that minimize the experience or the pet connection, such as “You can get another one” or “Give it a few days; you’ll get over it.”

A good rule to consider before saying anything is to consider whether you’d say the same thing if someone’s human family member passed. If the answer is no, then don’t say it about a pet. The pet-owner bond deserves both recognition and respect.

2. Presence Counts More Than Advice

Comfort doesn’t require perfect words; it calls for presence. Simply sitting with a friend going through loss and letting them talk about their pet again and again is what helps them wade through the early stages of grief.

You might even repeat back what you hear from them as they process:

“It sounds like you miss their companionship so much.”

“He really was a source of joy.”

“I’m glad she kept you warm at night with her bedtime snuggles.”

But words aren’t always needed. Silence can also be healing.

So just being there, handing over tissues when needed, or quietly sitting beside them offers a sense of grounding and reassurance that their sadness is safe with you.

3. Use Their Pet’s Name and Share Memories

Mentioning the pet’s name is also healing, rather than referring to the animal as “your dog” or “your cat.” It’s more intimate and keeps their memory alive.

For example, “Daisy brought so much joy to everyone around her.”

Referring to the pet by name also helps the grieving person feel more connected to the pet.

When you can, share your own memories, too. “I’ll never forget how Daisy always greeted everyone at the door.”

These snippets remind the grieving person that their pet’s life touched others.

Finally, encourage them to tell stories. It transforms pain into sweet memories, giving sorrow somewhere loving to land.

4. Keep Showing Up After the First Few Weeks

Grief lasts longer than people expect, and pet loss grief especially. Check in months later—on birthdays, adoption days, or anniversaries of passing.

A simple note saying, “Thinking of you and Bailey today,” lets them know their pain—and love—aren’t forgotten.

Small gestures also matter: a heartfelt note, a framed photo, or a memorial candle. These acts express care long after initial condolences fade.

5. Respect Their Way of Grieving

Everyone heals differently. Some cry, others grow quiet, and some fill the silence with stories.

There’s no right way to grieve. There’s no precise timeline.

You might say: “You don’t have to be okay right now. I’m here for you regardless.”

This kind of acceptance gives them permission to grieve naturally, without guilt, deadlines, or expectations.

6. Suggest Gentle Rituals of Remembrance

Creating memorials and rituals helps transform grief into connection through the tangible, concentrated act of giving that grief attention.

For example, you might encourage the person facing loss to plant a tree, create an album, light a candle, or write a letter to their pet.

Maybe ask gently, “Would you like me to help you make a small tribute for Luna?”

Gestures like these reinforce that a person’s love for their pet doesn’t end… it just changes form.

7. When to Encourage Professional Support

If someone’s grief feels overwhelming—maybe it’s affecting their sleep or ability to work—then there may come a time to consider additional help through a therapist or grief coach.

Reassure them that seeking help is a smart form of self-care and not a sign of weakness. Pet loss counselors, grief support groups, or online communities can offer the steady understanding that friends sometimes can’t.

Grief Is Simply Proof of Love

Comforting someone who’s lost a beloved pet isn’t about fixing pain. It’s about honoring love.

Grief is hard. It’s wretched.

It’s also proof that the bond between pet and owner was real.

So any time you’re able to show up for someone wading through that loss, remember to simply stay present and open. By doing just that, you’ll help them carry the heavy weight of that grief, which is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone.

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💛 If you found this post helpful, I’d be grateful if you share it with others who might someday be in a position to support a friend through pet loss.

And for more guidance on healing after the death of a beloved animal, join the Healing From Pet Loss community here.