10 Ways to Honor the Anniversary of Your Pet’s Passing
When the anniversary of your pet’s death comes around, it can bring your grief right back to the surface. Here’s how to turn that renewed sadness into something meaningful and healing.
After a beloved pet is gone from your life, it’s not uncommon to sink back into grief when the anniversary of their death swings back around.
For me, it was always around the Fourth of July. My soul dog, Koda, passed suddenly and traumatically during the week our neighborhood was rowdy with pre-celebratory fireworks.
In the years that followed, the smell of fireworks and the accompanying booms brought that painful day back to the forefront.
But rather than sink into despondent gloom all over again (which I did, many times), here are some ways to turn that deluge of hard memories into a day filled with meaning and compassion.
Here are 10 ways to navigate the anniversary of your pet’s passing:
Say it with peonies. It’s common in human deaths to send flowers to the person grieving or to place flowers on a grave. But flowers aren’t just for the departed. Studies have shown that simply being around flowers can improve your mood, lower your stress levels, and even boost feelings of well-being.
Jeannette Haviland-Jones, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at Rutgers, directed a study that showed how flowers can help people manage their day-to-day moods. So in honor of your pet’s passing, maybe buy yourself a beautiful bouquet.
Do that silly thing. Think back on activities your pet loved to do. Maybe you go on a walk, or curl up in the sun and take a nap. My sweet Koda loved to play with a frisbee — but not for catch. He invented his own clever game of turning the frisbee upside down and using it to roll a ball around in, tilting his head this way and that. It was hysterical.
Another dog of mine, Owie, loves to chase bubbles (though I wouldn’t eat them, like he does). Sandy, my childhood dog, loved to sing along with piano music.
I’d bet that the sillier the activity, the more joy it’ll bring you in remembering or even doing the thing.
Remember with aromas. Think about something your pet was crazy over… like the smell of tuna. Bake the most wonderful tuna casserole each year on that fated day and honor your pet with a new annual tradition.
Make it a party. Host a little gathering and reminisce about your pet. Choose people who knew and loved your pet, or helped take care of them. Pull out some pictures, make a nice pitcher of lemonade, and revel in the memories.
Write a letter to your pet. Tell them all that’s happened since their passing. Share your grief and write about how much you still miss them, and that they’re not forgotten.
Tap into the Beyond. Book a session with an animal communicator. This could be a lovely way to connect with your pet and get reassurance that they are okay.
Tap your mind. Pre-empt the tears that may fall on your pet’s death anniversary and book a therapy session. Use this hour to take care of your own emotional health.
Recall that “the body remembers.” Just as I felt impending sadness for years every time fireworks season began, regardless of how happy the rest of my life was, you might have body sensations that hit around the anniversary of your pet’s death.
Treat yourself well when these glimpses hit your psyche. Take a bubble bath or, or go on a long walk where the sunshine hits your face. Watch a good movie or read a good book. Anything that helps you feel better, even if it’s just a little bit.
Carve that memory into stone. Find a place to record your pet’s name as a memorial. Animal rescue societies often sell memorials, whether it’s a brick in the courtyard or a framed picture on the wall. Or, give a rescue organization some money in your pet’s name.
Since you know better, do better. Use the day to intentionally connect with your existing pets. This is especially powerful if you have a lot of regret about how your pet passed, or if you wish you’d done things differently.
The End Goal is Connection
If a celebration of your pet on the anniversary of their passing feels right to you, do it. If simply crying and remembering feels right, then do that.
There’s no wrong decision here.
The primary goal is to process your grief, whether it means you’re sobbing again or smiling at happy memories. Either way, it’s going to help you.
It may also be valuable to celebrate the day of death if you don’t know the day of your pet’s birth. Just knowing and remembering a specific anniversary can bring clarity to healing as you move forward after the loss of your sweet pet.
But even though remembering might be absolutely hard and painful, forgetting would be worse.💗
What about you? How have you marked the anniversary of your pet’s passing?